How much can we control?
How much do we really control?
How much do we really need to control?
Me: It feels that we are in charge and we are the directors of our lives. But the next instant, we call our lives sinusoids – the ups and downs determine our mood. We feel we are achievers of our highs and receivers of the lows, conveniently switching roles between captors and captives.
Jim: It’s so human to feel that.
Me: But why do we really get lost in the maze of our life?
Jim: That’s because there are so many caps that we don on our head – director, actor, runner, escaper, hero, superhero, and what not!
Me: Why are we complicating our lives so much? Why do we want to do it all?
Jim: You tell me – Why don’t you focus on one role at a time and do justice to it?
Me: Umm, probably because I feel I’ll loose out in the race.
Jim: Which race? A race created by you, me and thousands just like us?
Me: Yeah, it’s so important to participate in that race!
Jim: Really? What are we trying to prove in this race? Is there a winner ever at all? – No, because it’s endless!
I guess, what everyone essentially wants to do is outshine their acquaintances.
Me: And then what happens next?
Jim: Then we meet people who are better than us, something that intimidates us.
Jim: Then we try to prove ourselves amongst them and make every effort to achieve the next big thing.
Me: And then?
Jim: If we succeed – we move on to the next bigger fish; if we fail – we sulk and move down a step.
Me: Honestly, that sounds familiar! But why do we keep falling in that trap? I’m so confused!
Jim: Yes, that’s because we decide our successes and failures in the backdrop of outsiders whom we don’t even know. We only get to see other’s lives superficially. We barely know what’s happening really, on the inside!
But you know what I feel – had it been easily possible to understand an outsider’s life holistically in terms of the challenges they face, or the conducive conditions they thrive in, or either the silver spoon they possess or just handful pennies in the pocket, I don’t think we would ever have competed constantly with them so much.
Me: And what makes you feel so?
Jim: Because then we would realize that there are so many complications in discerning a person that we would simply give up and not think about competing with them.
Me: So then why are we focusing on them now?
Jim: Because we simply focus on the mask that we can see – the superficial, beautiful aspects – the misleaders masked beautifully as success and fame. We are just choosing convenience and ease – in reality, we are all lazybones!
Me: Oh! And here I was thinking, all the time, that we are constantly aligning ourselves according to the rich feedback mechanism that we have established for ourselves!
But it’s not that I don’t want to align myself towards the right direction. It’s just that I don’t know now how to and where to take feedback from? What should be my threshold? What should I use for benchmarking?
Jim: The best indicator is your own self! It’s time we stop looking outside for validation. Its time we look inside.
We talk about a progressive society and a matured generation. The progression and maturity here stem from no one else but us – our own selves. It’s about how much we want to see us as individuals with great power which is not comparable with anyone else’s at all!
If there ever is a way to reach the path to excellence and success, then it is through the one guided by our own “intuition”.
Me: But what is “intuition”? It just seems like a fancy word to me!
Jim: Intuition is the force within you which is nature’s best feedback system.
Believe it or not, there’s always a voice within you that guides you. Its the first thought that comes to your mind – which you generally don’t pay attention to. But its the most natural form of guidance that you can avail of!
Me: I get so many thoughts all together that I lose the first one! But even if I do recognize it, how is it gonna solve my problem of not being able to control my life?
Jim: It won’t solve your problem. But it will definitely change your problem statement.
It’s a guiding force that will guide you towards discovering what needs your attention to focus on. Sometimes you may need to focus on an upcoming project, or on an interview, or maybe just on your belief system, or on your habit of procrastinating!
You see, the whole game then becomes centric on YOU!
You become the main hero and then everything revolves around you! You no longer would need another individual to compare yourself with! You turn towards becoming a better individual as compared to your own self and not as compared to someone else!
Me: This sounds so beautiful! I do have my friends embodying these practices. But I never kinda understood what it meant! You made it pretty clear for me!
Jim: It’s all about focusing on creating a roller-coaster ride for your own self – expanding your horizons, liberating your self from conventional shackles, breathing for your self, feeling your emotions before experiencing how others make you feel, and accepting your self and others, as is!
Then you’ll see how wonderfully life flows by!
The questions then turn into..
What can we control?
What do we really want to control?
What do we really need to control?